Top 6: Killer Animal Films

On Sunday 7th April at The Roxy Bar and Theatre, Classic Horror Campaign are holding another fun filled Double Bill. This time it's a Double Creature Feature of 'Murders in the Zoo' and 'Day of the Animals.'

 
With that in mind, make yourself a drink, put the pets outdoors and settle down with the Fright Writer Top 6 Killer Animals Films. This list is strictly for real life beast only, no aliens, fantasy creatures, make believe monsters or anthromorphic animals.
 
Piranha
Joe Dante's fish feeding frenzy film clearly apes Jaws, resort owner Buck Gardner is clear an imitation of Mayor Larry Vaughan. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and even Piranha's tagline references it's predecessor; Then... you were shocked by the great white shark - Now... you are at the mercy of 1000 jaws! Alexandre Aja ramped up the comedy in his remake in 2010.

Lake Placid
A much underrated comedy horror. A giant crocodile starts picking off tourists and rag tag group are sent to investigate. No man, woman, cow or bear is safe from this killer croc.

Them!
A product of the 1950s nuclear fears, Them! is about ants mutated into giant, man-eating insects by atomic testing in New Mexico. Without doubt, the best of the many bug films of the time and featured in a previous Classic Horror Campaign event.

The Birds
Alfred Hitchcock's adaptation of Daphne Du Maurier sees him link up with his muse Tippi Hedren for the first time. The sheer terror of a usually placid animal turned violent and in Hitch's inimitable style leads for an unforgettable classic.

Jurassic Park
Sorry fundamentalists, dinosaurs did exist and nobody brought them to life on screen quite like Spielberg. From the first jaw dropping scene that we see the dinosaurs flocking through fields, Jurassic Park is a breathtaking ride not least the heart stopping T-rex attack.

Jaws
Another Spielberg classic that may not only be the best creature feature of all time, but may just be the greatest horror film of all time. Based on Peter Benchley's novel of the same name, Jaws was arguably the original summer blockbuster and marked a turning point in American cinema.

And that's the Top 6 Killer Animal Films list. To feel the full force of animal fear be sure to get your tickets to the Double Creature Feature now.

Top 6: Crazy Killer Couples

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, love is in the air and as we all know, love does strange things to people. Sigmund Freud said, "One is very crazy when in love," which is never more true than with the half a dozen couples below. Here are my Top 6: Crazy Killer Couples.


6. A Perfect Getaway
What better way to show somebody you love them than by whisking them away on a Hawaiian honeymoon? If it's not your honeymoon then fear not, simply kill off the cute, young newly weds whose honeymoon it is and stand in their place. It will be even more romantic than that time you killed the neighbours dog at your date by the lake, right Rocky?

5. Mum & Dad
What do you get the man in your life who has everything? A Polish airport cleaner with a 'dodgy visa' so you can play out your weird pervertions together (Not to mention the torturing, killing and crucifiction).

4. The Loved Ones
Every parent should love their child, though definitely not as much as Daddy loves Lola in this excellent, Australian horror. Fraught with creepy sexual overtones between father and daughter that are as subtle as Ed Gein’s dating technique, The Loved One is chillingly gruesome and crazily fucked up… just like our happy, crazy couple.

 

 

3. Bride of Chucky

What’s scarier than a talking doll possessed by the soul of a crazed serial killer? Two talking dolls possessed by the souls of crazed serial killers of course. After years of torturing teens and tots alone, Chucky is finally reunited with his long lost lust Tiffany to terrorise them together (including a young Katherine Hiegl pre shitty romcoms).

2. People Under the Stairs

Our unnamed lovers from The People Under the Stairs certainly check a lot of crazy couple boxes;

• Live in a scary house – Check
• Own a scary pet – Check
• God fearing – Check
• Refer to each other by creepy names – Check
• Own a lot of weapons – Check
• Hidden treasure – Check
• Studded leather gimp suits - Check
• Teenagers from the town imprisoned in the basement – Check
• Oh… Incestuous brother/sister relationship - Check

Yep, they’re crazy.

 

1. Heavenly Creatures
Based on the real life story of the Parker-Hulme murder, Heavenly Creatures is just that age old love story; Girl meets girl and become friends, girls become inseparable, girls’ God fearing parents worry that their souls may be damned by homosexuality, girls’ parents try to split them up, girls bludgeon parents to death with rocks in a stocking. Ah, love.

So, there we have it, the Top 6 crazy killer couples. Happy St Valentine's Day.

Top 6: Toughest Heroines

Every February the starlets and sirens of horror are celebrated with Women in Horror Month.

WiHM is an event that not only seeks to show affection to the finest females of frightening film, but also assist those who are underrepresented, educate about discrimination and assist in achieving gender equality.

It's a fantastic organisation, straight from the pulsing brain of Hannah Forman aka Hannah Neurotica.

In celebration of the event here is The Fright Writer Top 6: Toughest Heroines.

6. Clarice Starling - Silence of the Lambs
Special Agent Starling is little more than a student when she and the infamous Dr. Lector cross paths. A lesser character would have been swallowed up by Hannibal, in every sense of the phrase. Not Clarice though. Sure, Starling has her weaknesses, but it's overcoming them that proves just how strong she is.
Voted the 6th Greatest Protagonist by AFI, she was the highest ranking heroine.

5. Alice - Resident Evil
The Resident Evil films are far from great, but it does have a couple of great female characters. Michelle Rodriguez's Rain Ocampo is tougher than any of her male colleagues and boast an attitude and edge to match.
Without doubt though it is Milla Jovovich's Alice that is the force to reckoned with as she picks off zombies with ease ans looks pretty damn good at the same time. Forget damsels in distress, this is all about ass kicking in that dress and Alice is queen.

4. Nancy Thompson - Nightmare on Elm Street
Nancy is just a school girl when the first Nightmare on Elm Street picks up. That doesn't hold Nancy back however and as people started to die in their sleep Nancy is the only match for razor-fingered, sharp-tongued, paedophilic, 'bastard son of 100 maniacs,' Freddy Krueger.

3. Rae Ingram - Dead Calm
Nicole Kidman looks young enough to be Sam Neill's daughter in this film. Don't let those innocent looks fool you, this Aussie girl is as hard as Ayers Rock as she battles to save her husband's life in a role reversal to usual cinematic norm. Take that sexism.

2. Sarah - The Descent
There are a number of powerful women in The Descent who could have made this list had the list been longer. However, with just 6 places up for grabs it's Shauna McDonald's Sarah that makes it.
As if losing your family in a traffic accident isn't enough to deal with Sarah takes on pot-holing, "crawlers" and her own psyche with insurmountable mental strength. Does she make it? Well that depends in if your ending is from the US or UK.

1. Ellen Ripley - Alien
The can only be one winner of my toughest heroine list. Sigourney Weaver's Ripley was the woman who dared to take centre stage in the sci-fi/horror genre. She wasn't a scream queen or final girl, she was something all of her own. She was gutsy, glitzy and glorious. She was the the tough heroine before tough heroines were committed to screen.
Ripley is a role model that girls could really look up to. She wasn't a princess sitting in a castle, looking pretty an waiting to be rescued, she was surviving for herself. No need to be a powder-puff princess when you can be a gun totting Goddess.
Ripley is top of the list because without her, there would be no list.

That's my Top 6 let me know yours below.

For more information on Women in Horror Month go to: www.womaninhorrormonth.com

Top 6: Christmas Horror Films

Christmas, the time of cheer and good will. Well, not here at the Fright Writer's hovel, where the blood runs all year round.

In honour of horror over the festive period I'll be watching Rare Exports, but until then here is the Top 6 Christmas Horror films.

6. Christmas Evil
A Christmas horror laced with humour as dark as the inside of a chimney. Charting the mental downfall of Harry Stadling, a boy traumatised by his childhood memories and obsessed with Christmas. Stadling commits some grisly, gruesome murders using weapons ranging from axes to toy soldiers. Not flawless but still a good film with a role for horror regular Jeffery DeMunn .

5. Silent Night, Deadly Night
Crazed grandparents, sadistic nuns, killers dressed as Santa and Linnea Quigley impaled on wall mounted reindeer antlers, 'Silent Night, Deadly Night' certainly has a lot in it's favour. It's far from a perfect film, but furore around the films images and advertise upon it's release means this one will be a cult classic for a long time to come.

4. Jack Frost
Another film that's become a cult hit. Serial killer, Jack Frost's gets turned into a snowman after his prison truck collides a tanker carrying genetic material (What are the chances?). Its ridiculous plot, terrible acting, comical deaths and cheap FX means this film is so bad it's good. The infamous shower scene with Shannon Elizabeth adds to this film's must see status.

3. Santa's Slay
Never work with kids, animals or professional wrestlers. One of the rules of cinema is let a WWF (yes, I said 'F' not 'E', fuck the pandas, this is my childhood) star near a film and it's much more likely to become a big steaming pile of reindeer crap. 'Santa's Slay,' however, holds up pretty well despite have Bill Goldberg play the not so jolly St Nick. Goldberg grunts, growls and gurns his way through this over the top Christmas farce, but it's an enjoyable ride.

2. Black Christmas
Forget 'Halloween' or 'My Bloody Valentine', this is the granddaddy of holiday slashers. A house of sorority sisters are tormented by by a derranged killer in this Canadian horror classic based on 'The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs' legend. It also spawned the iconic tagline, "If this picture doesn't make your skin crawl...it's on too tight." 

1. Gremlins
My undisputed king of Christmas horror is Gremlins. It used to be the only terrifying green things likely to upset anyone at Christmas was sprouts, then Joe Dante's Gremlins came along to wreak havoc over the festive period. The film's dark comedic tone is summed up completely by the tragic story of Kate's father and his Christmas demise.

 

 

That's my Top 6 Christmas Horror Films, let me know yours.

 

A scary Christmas to all and to all a good fright.





Top 6: Remakes Better Than The Originals

I've had more than my fair share of rants about horror remakes/reimagings/rehashes of the usual bullshit. However, sometimes (only sometimes), a remake gets it right, hits the nail square on the fucking noggin and makes a film even better than the original.


In a market saturated with remakes, the number of films that live up to their predecessors, let alone surpass them is terribly low but not unheard of. Some films move beyond being simply a remake and add a new edge, originality and life that transcends the original.


Here are my Top 6: Remakes That Are Better Than the Originals.


The Fly
The ultimate in remakes that are better than the originals. Though the original is indeed a classic in itself, Cronenberg's 1986 remake pushes it to a whole new level. A lesser director would have taken the original script, updated the FX and rested on his laurels, that's not really Cronenberg's style though. Darker, bleaker and full of dread, Cronenberg's tale is so much more twisted and visceral with Goldblum the little black cherry on top, twisting a sci-fi film into a his signature body horror.

The Thing
Another 1980s classic that exceeded it's 50s father ('The Thing From Another World'). Whether 'The Thing' is a remake or just a separate adaptation of John W. Campbell Jr.'s 'Who's Goes There?' is open to debate, but without doubt oversteps the original and with some vigour. Never as an open expanse felt so claustrophobic as 'The Thing's' Antarctic terrain.

The Strangers
No doubt both 'The Strangers' and French original 'Ils' are deeply chilling, but there is something about the US remake that is disturbing to the very core by pushing barriers a step further. Part of the advantage of 'The Strangers' is Liv Tyler's innocent, defenceless female lead. Tyler plays the part perfectly and the thought of bringing any harm to something so precious is nothing short of perturbing.

 

My Bloody Valentine
This is something as rare as a black actor at the end of a horror film or virginal victim in a slash. 'My Bloody Valentine' is a film I enjoyed despite not only being a remake, but also 3D. It's an enjoyable remake of the Canadian classic about a manic miner far more scary than anything the Spectrum ever produced. Teaming Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer once again, it's a fun film, memorable for more than just Farmer's opening scene with Betsy Rue.

2001 Maniacs
Blood,boobs and belly-laughs, don't dare take Tim Sullivan's remake seriously. Camp and deliberately kitsch is what most fun horror films wish they were. '2001 Manics' is filled with horror references played out by horror's finest including Robert Englund's unhinged Mayor, Lyn Shaye's crazed Granny and Christa Campbell's unforgettable Milkmaid, crazy fun to the very end.

Dawn of the Dead
The controversial choice. Zack Snyder and James Gunn tackle a classic and come out on top. Romero is sacred to many (with good reason), but make no mistake, the original is by no means flawless and the remake is just more...enjoyable.

(PS. Before anyone mentions running zombies to me, read my previous post here.)

Honourable mentions:

Two films that are as good as the films that spawned them.


Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Crazies

So, that's my list, leave me a comment to let me know what you think and any others that would be on your list.