Top 6: Remakes Better Than The Originals

I've had more than my fair share of rants about horror remakes/reimagings/rehashes of the usual bullshit. However, sometimes (only sometimes), a remake gets it right, hits the nail square on the fucking noggin and makes a film even better than the original.


In a market saturated with remakes, the number of films that live up to their predecessors, let alone surpass them is terribly low but not unheard of. Some films move beyond being simply a remake and add a new edge, originality and life that transcends the original.


Here are my Top 6: Remakes That Are Better Than the Originals.


The Fly
The ultimate in remakes that are better than the originals. Though the original is indeed a classic in itself, Cronenberg's 1986 remake pushes it to a whole new level. A lesser director would have taken the original script, updated the FX and rested on his laurels, that's not really Cronenberg's style though. Darker, bleaker and full of dread, Cronenberg's tale is so much more twisted and visceral with Goldblum the little black cherry on top, twisting a sci-fi film into a his signature body horror.

The Thing
Another 1980s classic that exceeded it's 50s father ('The Thing From Another World'). Whether 'The Thing' is a remake or just a separate adaptation of John W. Campbell Jr.'s 'Who's Goes There?' is open to debate, but without doubt oversteps the original and with some vigour. Never as an open expanse felt so claustrophobic as 'The Thing's' Antarctic terrain.

The Strangers
No doubt both 'The Strangers' and French original 'Ils' are deeply chilling, but there is something about the US remake that is disturbing to the very core by pushing barriers a step further. Part of the advantage of 'The Strangers' is Liv Tyler's innocent, defenceless female lead. Tyler plays the part perfectly and the thought of bringing any harm to something so precious is nothing short of perturbing.

 

My Bloody Valentine
This is something as rare as a black actor at the end of a horror film or virginal victim in a slash. 'My Bloody Valentine' is a film I enjoyed despite not only being a remake, but also 3D. It's an enjoyable remake of the Canadian classic about a manic miner far more scary than anything the Spectrum ever produced. Teaming Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer once again, it's a fun film, memorable for more than just Farmer's opening scene with Betsy Rue.

2001 Maniacs
Blood,boobs and belly-laughs, don't dare take Tim Sullivan's remake seriously. Camp and deliberately kitsch is what most fun horror films wish they were. '2001 Manics' is filled with horror references played out by horror's finest including Robert Englund's unhinged Mayor, Lyn Shaye's crazed Granny and Christa Campbell's unforgettable Milkmaid, crazy fun to the very end.

Dawn of the Dead
The controversial choice. Zack Snyder and James Gunn tackle a classic and come out on top. Romero is sacred to many (with good reason), but make no mistake, the original is by no means flawless and the remake is just more...enjoyable.

(PS. Before anyone mentions running zombies to me, read my previous post here.)

Honourable mentions:

Two films that are as good as the films that spawned them.


Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Crazies

So, that's my list, leave me a comment to let me know what you think and any others that would be on your list.

Cash Before Creativity

Slowly over the past couple of weeks the news has filtered through that ‘Hellraiser’ will, almost certainly, be remade.

Rumours and news stories have been banded about the internet about Todd Farmer writing the first draft of the script, Patrick Lussier signing on to direct and Amber Heard linked to the lead role.

Undoubtedly though, the biggest talking point so far has been the Weinstein’s plan to follow the lead of the planned Alien remake, and make the film a PG-13.

Fans in their droves hit blogging sites, social networks and film news websites to release their anger about such a decision. I have to say, I’m on the fans side. To make such a move is nonsense.

If there was one iconic film that is not suitable to be remade as a ‘teen movie’, 'Hellraiser' is probably it. A gory, bleak film written by the unflinching Clive Barker with a heavy sadomasochistic undertone. It has subject matter as dark as Charlie Manson’s innards, Hellraiser certainly isn’t all fun and frolics.

At least that's the way the original is made. This announcement suggests that the new film is not going to be a Hellraiser film at all, this is going to be a Pinhead film.

You see Hellraiser is an intelligent film that taps into your psyche. This film isn't about the gore or the excellent make up, it's all about atmosphere and it's not suited to a younger audience. Pinhead, however, is a recognisable horror icon, who is easily replacated with a new actor.

I'm not being demeaning here. I'm sure there are teens who love the original, just as I did. There is no doubt though, if we speak in demographics here, teens are not the intended target of the source material.

However, it is the teen market that brings in the big cash. PG-13 films fair much better at the box office than R-rated ones and in recent years it become clear that Hollywood is all about the cold, hard cash. Who cares about artistic input? Can creativity pay for a mansion in Beverly Hills? No! But, mass marketed, ill conceived shit can.

So, cut the gory effects, ditch the sadomasochism, slash the themes of morality in fear and crank up the teens making bad decisions. Then, add a young, pretty actress running around in a tight, white vest while Pinhead follows behind.

Also, we'll need some big name stars. Pinhead needs to be bald and should be bigger than last time, how about Vin Diesel? In fact, let's rename him Vinhead. Maybe, he could glitter when he goes into the sun, kids love that these days.

How about Miley Cyrus, Zak Effron and that guy from One Tree Hill play the cenobites? Maybe they could finish with a sing off that Vinhead loses and gets sent to hell by Simon Cowell and some celebrity judges.

It will never happen but if you are going to turn classics into teen flicks why not go hog wild?

Anyway, I must go now I'm writing my English language, rom-com version of 'Irreversible'. Kidding.